Rebuild the Machine
by rosebuffy
Summary: Sequel to 'Holding on, or letting go'. Lexie has not coped well with change. Mark and Callie are still happy but people are starting to choose sides and Seattle Grace only works if all its parts work together like a machine. All its parts are not united.
1. Chapter 1

1.

The phone rang. From the sofa, Lexie turned her head slowly to look at it. She got to her feet and walked deliberately into the bathroom, in the opposite direction to the ringing phone. From the bathroom she could still hear the familiar beep as the phone switched to answerphone; 'Lexie. I'm serious.' Meredith's voice rang out, stern and direct. 'If you don't get your ass back to this hospital soon you are definitely out of a job. Christ, Lex, anyone else would be already! Look,' her tone softened slightly. 'It's been like a month and a half since Mark came back to work – again – and you just stopped showing up. What's the matter with you? Call me.' In the background Lexie could hear Derek's voice as Meredith finished speaking. 'Yeah, like that's gonna happen.'

'What's the matter with you?' The only part of Meredith's message Lexie had really heard. She looked at herself in the mirror above the sink. Her once sparkling eyes had gained a dull emptiness that made them look almost grey. Her hair hung, limp and greasy in curtains either side of her face. Her skin itself was a white, almost green, colour. Her teeth were yellow through the mass amounts of caffeine she had taken to swallowing which had also given her hands an almost permanent tremor. She looked at this stranger through her puffy, bloodshot eyes and quite honestly could not see the Alexandra Grey who was once going to become a world class surgeon. She bowed her head, not wanting to face the facts anymore and the watch on her wrist began to bleep.

Lexie had made the, somewhat misguided, decision to barricade herself in the apartment that had once belonged to her and Mark on the day that Callie had opened the door to her apartment, at exactly the same time as Lexie. Callie had backed into the hallway her arms around Mark's neck and straight into Lexie. Callie had instantly spun round to apologise. 'Sorry.' She's gasped. 'Mark's coming back to work, I just got a little overexcited. Sorry.' She repeated. Lexie had just nodded. Unable to find the words. Mark had then said the one phrase that guaranteed Lexie would never leave her bubble. 'Can we give you a lift?' He'd asked, casually. For a second, Lexie had just stared at him. What were they now? Neighbours? The thought was almost impossible. Time had not passed. Not enough time had passed; it was all too much, too comfortable, too soon. She shook her head and muttered something about forgetting a paper and retreated into the flat and that was the last anyone had seen of her. Of course, Mark still had a key but after she stuffed the keyhole with chewing gum, around her own key, his became redundant.

Since this time she had amused herself with stalking, listing and timing the sounds and routines of the things she heard around her; specifically, Mark and Callie. The reason her watch had bleeped was that it was time for them to come home. On Fridays their shifts finished at exactly the same time. Christina tended to stay at Hunt's and Mark and Callie would have 'alone' time. Lexie sat herself back on the sofa and cocked her head slightly to listen as she heard their footsteps on the stairs. They were laughing about something.

'Then you should have told him he was wrong!' Mark said, his voice breaking with laughter.

'I tried.' Callie was laughing too, 'but he just wouldn't hear of it. He wanted me to build him a new penis out of titanium!'

'It's not a bone!' Mark was laughing again.

'Yes. Thank you, Mr Plastics man. I believe I learnt that to get my fellowship.' Callie was suddenly mock stern.

'I'm sorry.' Mark was teasing her too. 'Will you ever forgive me? Please?' Lexie closed her eyes as she heard them kissing and then a giggle as Callie was pushed backwards against the door.

'Where are the keys?' Mark whispered. More giggling and then a gasp.

'Why would the keys be in my bra?' Callie squealed. Suddenly there was a silence. Lexie sat up a little straighter. After a while Callie spoke.

'Mark? What are we going to do about her?' Her tone was hushed but Lexie could still hear. More silence, Mark clearly didn't have an answer. 'I'm serious.' Callie spoke. 'No one's seen her since, well, us. If it weren't for the fact that she makes so much noise making coffee at all hours then we wouldn't even know she's alive. She doesn't return calls or even pick up the phone. Everyone's worried and Meredith is significantly pissed…at me. Apparently nothing is ever the fault of Mark Sloan.'

'or…her husband is fighting my corner.' Mark reasoned.

'Can I be in your corner too?' Callie pleaded.

'Anytime.' Lexie could hear the smile in his voice and then the sound of more kissing. This time it was finished abruptly by Callie speaking again; 'Stop. Do you know how long it's been since she was seen? Since she left that apartment?' More silence. 'A month and a half.' More silence.

'Oh.' Mark seemed to be lost for words. 'What are we going to do?' In the longest silence yet, Lexie actually stood up and walked to the door to look through the peephole – she could only see the back of Mark's head as he stood looking at Callie who had her back to their front door.

'Nothing.' Callie finally whispered.

'Nothing?' Mark queried.

'She's ultimately hurting, I understand that, but she's also taking this whole thing too far. She lost you. For me, it would be the end of the world. I know. But I've loved and lost before and now, because of that I suppose, I have you. Life goes on Mark. For some reason, she is forcing life to stop for her, but it doesn't work like that. Life. Goes. On.'

'So we do nothing.' Mark nodded as he spoke. Callie nodded back and turned to open the door, having found the keys in her pocket. 'Have I ever told you I love you?' Mark whispered after Callie, following her in. Callie giggled and walked further into the flat. Mark stopped on the threshold and turned to look back at the door. Lexie didn't move. She knew she couldn't be seen. For a few seconds she stared at him as he stared at the door, not seeing her. It felt familiar. Lexie walked away from the door. Mark had stopped seeing her before they'd broken up. In fact, she collapsed back into the imprint her body had made on the sofa, had he ever seen her?

_So, i've been gone a long time. I'm really sorry. My life is so hectic and i can't guarantee this fic will have regular updates but i promise to keep it ticking over. Please review, much appreciated ... always! xx_


	2. Chapter 2

2.

'She'll be back chief. I promise.' Meredith was walking backwards in front of the Chief as he determinably walked forward towards the board room. A folded piece of paper clutched in his fist. 'It's out of my hands.' He looked determinably over her head, unable to face the pleading desperation in her eyes. 'I tried, Meredith, really I tried but there's nothing I can do anymore.'

'You could refuse to sign your consent for the board to fire her!' Meredith's voice broke. 'Chief she's lost so much. This job is all she has left and you can't take that away too. I won't let you.' She reached for the piece of paper but the Chief was too fast and whipped it out of her reach, holding it high above his head. Meredith seemed to visibly deflate. She stopped walking and put her hands on the chief's shoulders. He was forced to stop and looked into her eyes. 'Meredith. I'm sorry. If it wasn't for you she would have been out of a job a long time before now. It's not my fault. Please don't blame me. I've done all I can do without being out of a job myself. Excuse me.' He easily took her hands from his shoulders moved her carefully out of the way. She turned and watched as he walked deliberately into the board room. He didn't look back.

Christina was there in an instant. 'Come on Mer.' She took her arm. 'Coffee.' She steered her forcibly towards the cafeteria. Meredith's eyes were glazed. 15 minutes later, sat across the table from Christina she finally spoke. 'I let her down.' She whispered, looking up. 'I'm the only person who's truly on her side and I let her down. I'm her big sister. Who's gonna fight her corner if not me?' Christina shrugged.

'She let herself down.' She said, bluntly. 'Little Grey has officially left the building.' Meredith looked down again. 'You should probably leave her a message. Just so she knows.' finished Christina, displaying her classic lack of empathy.

Lexie's phone rang again. She didn't even hear it. She'd managed to train herself to block out these sounds now. Irrelevant distractions from her pain. Though of course she would never bring herself to admit to it, she enjoyed wallowing in this pile of self loathing. She enjoyed the solitude and she was delighted that people worried about her. She did hear Meredith's voice though as the machine beeped. 'Lex. You got fired today. I tried to stop the Chief, said you'd be back soon but it was too late. Sorry.' There was a pause as Lexie frowned at the machine, as if waiting for it to confirm it's story. 'Actually,' Meredith continued, with a completely different tone of voice. 'I'm not sorry. It's getting to the stage where I am wondering why I even bother caring. You're just sitting in there, in an apartment that Mark still pays more than half the rent for because you don't make enough. Now, thanks to your pathetic self pity, you don't make a thing. Not a single dollar. Most people at the hospital can't even remember why you stopped showing up. Mark is so ridiculously happy. He is in love with a really great woman. She can't be totally happy until you sort yourself out. Move on Lexie. Seriously. I'm going to stop calling. I'm not getting through to you. If I don't see your sorry ass soon I will have the fire crews break down the door and drag you out. Maybe that will get through to you.' She hung up. No goodbye, no 'love you', nothing.

Lexie stared at the machine. She tilted her head slowly to one side. Bemused, shocked, numb. Meredith wasn't worried about her anymore. In fact, Lexie screwed up her face and squinted at the machine, Meredith had finally given up on her. Given up. Of course that was what Lexie herself had done nearly 2 months ago but having someone do it to her… Well it just wasn't fair. She looked slowly down at her hands. Long, delicate surgeon's hands - once. Her nails were yellow and too long to operate. The skin on her hands was blotchy and dry; she no longer took care of her hands, her instrument. In fact she no longer took care of anything. She concentrated desperately hard on attempting to make her hands stop their permanent caffeine-induced tremor. It was beyond the control of her mind. She had ruined her hands. She was no longer capable to being a world class surgeon. She was no longer capable of being a physician. Her watch bleeped. Mark and Callie were coming up the stairs. Lexie walked into the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. She walked into the bathroom and removed her top and jeans. Wearing just a bra and knickers she walked back into the kitchen as the kettle began to shake and the water began to boil.

'I think we need to do something though. Maybe her actually losing her job will put her back in touch with the world. Maybe it will show her that the real world still exists and she is affecting it. What do you think?' Callie was saying as she fumbled for her keys. Lexie didn't hear, she was staring intently at the kettle with dead eyes. 'I think you have an amazing ass.' Mark answered. Callie let out a small giggle which was followed by a metallic click as she found her keys. At that second, the kettle clicked to let Lexie know it was boiled.

Lexie picked up the kettle with both hands to hold it steady, it was almost full. She walked back into the living room, still clutching the kettle. She stood directly in the middle, away from all the furniture. She looked at the steam rising from the spout, she could feel its heat on her face and arms. She looked at her naked stomach. Still flat, still pale, still beautiful. She turned the kettle to face her, closed her eyes and, still clutching with both hands, began to pour the scalding water. She was vaguely aware that she could hear screaming as she felt her skin begin to crack and blister as it peeled away in layers of flesh. Outside, Callie whipped round as a heart-wrenching scream sounded from behind the door opposite. 'What the f… Mark. Get the door open now!!' She yelled. Mark looked at her for a split second, eyes wide, before ploughing into the door putting all his weight behind his shoulder. The door burst open in a haze of tiny splinters and Callie ran in.

She stopped. Lexie was stood in her underwear in the middle of the living area. Her mouth almost as wide as her eyes as she screamed an endless scream, both hands still clutched tightly around the handle of the kettle as she poured the boiling water directly onto her abdomen and it ran down over her pelvis, hips and legs. Callie felt her head spin. Lexie's entire body was steaming. She looked like she was on fire. Behind her, Mark was completely immobile. He began to hyperventilate. Callie felt her body fighting to stay still and she fought back, she ran straight at Lexie and prised the kettle from her steel like grip. It was as though as though the kettle had been Lexie's anchor. As soon as it left her hands she collapsed. Callie tossed the kettle to one side. It was empty now anyway. She caught Lexie round her back in one arm and lowered her slowly to the floor. Lexie was still screaming and suddenly her eyes were also on fire. She knew it was her that was screaming and her whole body began to convulse and shake and the raw red skin, white in some places, so deep had she burnt herself, began to tear. So hot was the front of her body that Callie couldn't bring herself close to it. 'Mark. Snap out of it!' She instructed. I need ice and strips of fabric. I need them so fast Mark or she is going to die.' Mark reached out a hand and grabbed the frame of the door. 'Mark. I can't move!' Callie yelled at him, over Lexie's screams. 'Mark! Now! For me.' Mark pushed himself away from the door frame and propelled himself into the kitchen.

_Sorry it's taken such a long time but this is quite a long chapter...please review._


	3. Chapter 3

Thank God Mark had lived in this apartment. Thank God it was his apartment. He moved around it like a thing possessed and as soon as Callie had even a small amount of the things she was requesting she sprang into action. It was as though they were one. One well oiled machine, with one mind and one purpose. Mark had run into the kitchen and retrieved the burn cream they kept in the cupboard. The tiny tube wasn't nearly enough. Callie applied its entire contents to the worst affected areas and then began to crush the ice using her fists, the kettle, anything she could find before placing it straight onto the skin and wrapping the strips of fabric around her body. She peeled off the underwear before it was able to fuse to the burnt skin and rip that off too and continued to wrap fabric over Lexie's writhing body.

By the time the EMTs, Mark had called, arrived, Lexie was covered, from the chest down, in lumpy bandages. Her skin had melted the ice so fast that the bandages themselves were hot to the touch and beginning to steam as well. Callie knew this was a bad sign. The bandages were just supposed to keep the ice close to the skin. If they were touching the skin they may fuse to it, just like the underwear almost had and they may cause further damage. She helped the EMTs load Lexie into the Ambulance. Mark had frozen again. With nothing to do, he had ceased to function. Callie grabbed his arm and pulled him into the Ambulance as the doors slammed and the vehicle screamed into action.

In the ambulance Callie and Mark just stared as Lexie was worked on. Lexie was still now. The pain had gone beyond a level she could consciously cope with and her body had given up the fight. The EMTs were stripping away the fabric before it could cause further damage and applying band of gauze and ointments that Callie didn't recognise. As her raw naked form was revealed, Callie instinctively turned Mark's face to her shoulder and he clung onto her tight. It wasn't that she didn't wish him to see his ex naked again; she was more secure than that. It was just the vision of a body he had once loved and known. Any body that looked as Lexie's did now was beyond the point of complete repair. Even the best of plastic surgeons…as soon as Callie thought this, her body stiffened. The best chance Lexie had for healing. The best chance she had to one day have a body she could display, one day have a body that wasn't inviting infection and further damage, this one chance was currently pressing himself into Callie's shoulder as though he would never look out at the world again. Callie held him to her more closely and took a steadying breath as she wondered when Mark would have to face this revelation himself.

The ambulance screamed to a stop and Callie shot a horrified look at the door. Whoever wrenched it open would surely be a close friend of all three of them. She knew the EMTs hadn't given many details when they called ahead, she'd listened out. The door was pulled open and one of the Mercy West lot stood there, Callie still didn't know her name. Callie's sigh of relief stopped in her throat as the Mercy West girl was abruptly pushed aside, frozen as she was staring in at the picture of familiar faces in a totally alien scenario. Meredith Grey stood behind her.

For a second, Meredith just stared at the picture as the EMTs ran round and began to unload Lexie. Callie, no longer able to look into Meredith's confused face, jumped down from the ambulance, pulling Mark with her, to help lower Lexie gently to the ground. As the stretcher became a gurney, Hunt ran forward. Not looking at Lexie's face, focused on the injury, he lifted a layer of gauze and swore quietly. Hunt had seen things, Hunt knew trauma injuries and burns but he hadn't seen anything like this since coming back from the field. He nodded as one of the EMTs said; 'female, late 20s, self inflicted major burns from the upper abdomen to knee then becoming more minor to feet. Minor burn injuries above the abdomen.' The EMT leaned forward to Hunt's ear. 'She poured a boiling kettle all over herself, practically the whole thing. I knew surgeons were disciplined but…'

'Surgeons?' Hunt snapped his head up to Lexie's face and swore again. Much more loudly. 'Grey.' He said. Meredith looked at him, her head finally looking away from Callie and Mark who were determinably avoiding her gaze as they took the IV bags and oxygen from the EMTs. 'Yes.' Meredith walked towards Hunt who, realising what he'd said suddenly sprang into action. He ran past Callie to the head of the gurney and gestured to the Mercy West girl, who was more on the ball now, she took the foot of the gurney and the four of them hurried past Meredith and into the ER and straight through to the waiting trauma room.

As soon as they arrived in the room, Mark hung the fluids and backed against the wall, Callie, in the same way as she was always aware of where Mark was in relation to her self, noticed him retreat but didn't acknowledge it – this was not the time or place for a scene. Christina was waiting for them. She gave the Mercy West girl a look and the girl left. Christina glanced at Lexie on the stretcher. She swore softly as she watched Callie and Hunt beginning to remove the gauze and then, glancing at Lexie's face, swore much more loudly. 'Where's Mer?' No response. 'Where's Meredith?' She asked, more urgently.

'She's in the ambulance bay.' Hunt answered, still gently peeling away gauze.

'She's definitely suspicious.' Muttered Callie, her attention in the same place as Hunt's. At that moment, Derek came in. He looked at the scene.

'You went home.' Callie was the first to be addressed. 'Good God!' Next it was Lexie's injuries. Derek walked around Hunt and Christina and saw Mark huddled in the corner. 'You went home too…wait, Mark are you alright?' Finally, he turned and saw the patient's face. He swore and then grabbed Christina's shoulder. 'Where's Meredith?' She didn't respond. 'Christina, where is my wife?'

'Ambulance bay.' Christina shook his hand off. 'Keep her out of here.' Derek gave one last desperate look at Lexie and ran from the room.

Derek ran straight into Meredith approaching the door to the trauma room. 'Ow.' She said, as a reflex, before continuing towards the door. Not realising or acknowledging that it was her husband who'd ploughed into her. Derek took a second to realise too but almost instantly he grabbed Meredith's shoulders and spun her round so that she was now facing him, her back to the door. 'You look tired.' He peered into her face.

'What?'

'You look exhausted. Lets go and get you a coffee.'

'I'm fine. What are you doing?'

'Coffee?'

'What? No.'

At that point the door behind Meredith opened and Christina backed straight into her pulling the foot of the gurney. Meredith spun around. 'Christina!' She smiled. 'Everyone ran straight past me in the bay. Is it a good trauma? Can I get in on it?' Christina didn't react fast enough. She just stared at Mereddith. Callie appeared at the side of the gurney, pushing fluids by hand, and Christina was forced past Meredith at Hunt pushed the head of the gurney out of the door. 'What's the hold up?' He called. His eyes were firmly looking at Lexie's face. 'Grey doesn't have time to waste here.' Meredith looked up. 'I don't have what?' Derek went to dive in between Meredith and the gurney as Meredith stepped forward to look more closely at the patient. Meredith's eyes went instantly to the burns, now covered in a clear film, she gasped. Her eyes went up to Lexie's face and Derek was behind her as she collapsed into his arms.

'Meredith!' He lowered her to the floor as Hunt forced his team past them and straight toward the elevator. Lexie had to get to theatre now. Derek waited for Meredith to become conscious again. Very slowly her eyes opened. She blinked and Derek could see her pupils fighting to focus. Then she looked around her. Groggily she focused on the floor, Derek saw her brow crease as she began to ascertain how much closer it was than it should normally be. Then the dead weight of memory hit her. She jerked upright. 'Lsszz.' She attempted to call out her sister's name, but her powers of speech were not yet conscious. She took two deep breaths and then turned to face Derek, still on the floor. 'Lexie?' Her voice was barely a whisper. Derek nodded.

'Lexie.' He confirmed. 'I don't know what happened so don't ask me. I saw that it was her and I came straight to find you.'

'I have to go to her.' Meredith's voice was stronger now. 'I have to be there for her. I'm her family.'

'I know.' Derek nodded. 'And I have to be there for you. I'm your family too.'

_So loads of Drama my end and I was completely unable to post any more of this fic but i went back on the site today and remembered why I used to love doing it so much so I thought I'd post all that I had left of this fic and see if anyone enjoyed reading it. It seems a little bittersweet to be writing about Lexie and Mark in this way in light of recent events and especially because I'm now a ridiculous Calzona fan but anyway. Read. Enjoy. Maybe one day I'll write a new one. I'll see how this one is appreciated anyway. Feel free to read and review. Thank you. xx_


	4. Chapter 4

Callie looked around her at the mass of people gathered around the surgical board and a horrible thought struck her; there hadn't been this many people waiting here with this level of anticipation since George had died. She hadn't thought about George in years. She'd been so loved and so in love with two incredible people since George – she didn't count Erica. George had made her world stop, Arizona had made her world stop but Mark made her world spin so fast that she felt like if she didn't hold onto him then she'd fall off, she'd cease to exist. He made her real.

The chief caught her eye and interrupted her thoughts. He shifted his gaze and she followed it until it rested on Mark. He shifted his gaze back to her and mouthed 'you need to tell him. It's time.' Callie narrowed her eyes at him and was about to object when she felt another pair of eyes watching them. Meredith Grey had watched the entire encounter and she looked at Callie now. Her big doe eyes were filled with tears and she nodded – just once. Callie could say no to the chief, she had never had the problems that Arizona had with authority figures but saying no to family was something else. She returned Meredith's nod and approached Mark.

'Mark?' Her voice was barely more than a whisper and she reached out to stroke his arm but he flinched like she'd shouted and spun round looking horrified. She reached up and gently ran her fingers through his hair. 'Baby?' His eyes looked straight into hers and he visibly relaxed. Callie let her hand stroke his face and as her hand went down to hold his she kissed the place where her hand had just been. Mark squeezed her hand. 'Do you know what they need you to do? Callie was still whispering as though talking to a trauma victim. She realised with a start that that's exactly what she was doing.

Mark shook his head, it wasn't that he didn't know what Callie meant it's that she was begging her. His eyes were pleading with her not to say it because saying it would involve him medically and he would become another one of the physicians working on his ex. 'You're the only one that can give her a chance of a normal life Mark. If there was someone else to ask then I would, you know I would but you're a professional. Not only that Mark, you're the best.' Callie became aware that other people were listening to her.

'What if she dies?' Mark's voice was barely a croak. Callie knew better than to promise that she wouldn't.

'If she dies and you haven't done anything to even try you won't forgive yourself. If she dies despite the fact that you tried then you did all you could. Okay?'

'I don't know if I can.'

'I know you can' Callie leant right into Mark's face and kissed him. 'Is that enough?'

Mark nodded as tears began to trickle down his face. Callie had never seen him cry before. The sight made her want to take Mark and run away from all of this. Just as she was considering dragging Mark to the end of the world he dropped her hand and simultaneously dropped her eye contact. He turned and walked towards the scrub room. He didn't look back. Callie was left looking after him with the horrible feeling that he was slipping away.

Mark kept his eyes down as he furiously scrubbed his hands clean unwilling to look at how the operation was proceeding. Bailey and Hunt were the lead surgeons on the case at this stage. Hunt had attempted to preserve the flesh as he stripped Lexie down to her internal organs but the skin was disintegrating like tissue paper. Bailey had then stepped in to take the lead on the internal organs which had received the most burn damage. 'The epidermis is fried, we'll be lucky to save any of this at all.'

'We won't be lucky. We can't do it. If anyone can – Sloane can.' Bailey, getting straight to the point as usual. 'Dam!' She exclaimed loudly as a spray of blood rose clean into the air. 'The stomach can't hold itself together at all.' The flesh was disintegrating like soggy newspaper and all the freezing salts in the world just weren't having the desired effect.

'This shouldn't be happening.' Hunt was almost speaking to himself. 'The burns are extensive yes, awful in fact, but this should not be happening.'

'You know what I think?' Bailey asked. Hunt didn't respond – Bailey would of course tell him anyway. 'I think she doesn't want to be healed. She's not putting up a fight so neither is her body.' Hunt didn't reply. He did not want to admit that science was failing them. Bailey suddenly plunged her hand into the cavity with such ferocity that Hunt started. 'Got it.' She was handed silk and stitched the cavity blind. 'Impressive' Hunt said.

Bailey shrugged. 'I'm good.' However as she gently pulled her hand out of the stomach cavity, Mark walked purposefully into the operating room. Bailey and Hunt looked up in total unison.

'Drape her face.' Mark sounded different, colder somehow. In her fluster to obey the wishes of this new Mark she forgot the care she was taking in removing her hand. Swiftly she pulled it from the cavity but the heat damaged ribs weren't strong enough to cope with the way Bailey's hand moved past them. There was a crunch as they crumbled in on themselves. Bailey gasped. Without missing a beat Hunt turned to the surgeon assisting him, 'Page Torres. Now!' Bailey backed away from the table. 'Were you done anyway?' there was fire in Hunt's eyes as he fixed them on Bailey. She nodded, 'I'll have to go back in when she's slightly more healed but for now I've done all that I can do.'

'You've probably done more. We'll take it from here.'

Bailey held up her hands and backed out of the room.

Outside, by the surgical board, everyone's attention turned to Callie as her pager began to bleep.


End file.
